What to do when dating an introvert

Content
  • 5 tips for dating an introvert, according to a psychologist who is one
  • 17 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Introvert
  • Dating a introvert guy
  • 4 Red Flags When Dating An Introvert That May Be Hard To Pick Up On
  • How to Date an Introvert: 15 Important Things You Can’t Overlook
  • 7 Dating Tips for Introverts

But how many of us actually know what it means — and what it means for our relationships — outside of the cutesy results of Facebook quizzes? Even better, by diving into what makes introverts tick, you might discover benefits to dating them, befriending them, or being them you never anticipated! Though seemingly hundreds of Internet lists and quizzes — and popular opinion, for that matter! While introverts can certainly exhibit those qualities — and while shyness and introversion often go together — so can extroverts.

5 tips for dating an introvert, according to a psychologist who is one

I closed the door and sighed. Another date over for this introvert. We listened to some of the same bands, both liked reading sci-fi, and each had two cats. Add to that our dislike of forced socializing, penchant for quiet, and strong need for meaningful interaction, and finding a partner can feel downright impossible. When I saw someone I was interested in, usually the best I could muster was a smile and some intense eye contact from across the room.

Usually any attempts at this ended in me mumbling some small talk, then giving up. Many introverts are intensely interested in meaning. We crave interesting, thoughtful conversation. We talked all night, making fun of our drunk friends writhing on the dance floor, and he kissed me when he walked me back to my car. Instead, dive deep and focus on making an authentic connection.

In my mind, the first three dates were usually a wash. I was one big ball of nervous awkwardness. Soon enough, our quirky humor, thoughtfulness, or altruistic nature will shine through. Dating can be draining for anyone, but for introverts, who get easily overstimulated because of the way their brains respond to dopamine , it can be downright exhausting. And you have to be okay with that. That means saying no to some social events.

At times, it can be hard for us to get our thoughts and feelings out. At least, not as eloquently as they sounded in our minds. Some of my favorite dates have been to plays, concerts, and art installations. Feed our intellectual side, and our hearts will follow. Many introverts, especially highly sensitive introverts, have unique needs that may not make sense to other people. It takes me awhile, even in a committed relationship, to want to do this.

They are valid challenges for us. It takes a lot of energy for introverts to meet and get comfortable with new people. We have to stretch ourselves and step waaaaay out of our comfort zone. As a result, everything — both the good and the bad — takes on 10x more meaning. Learn more: The Secret Lives of Introverts: This article may contain affiliate links. We only recommend products we truly believe in. Image credit: Jenn Granneman is the founder of IntrovertDear.

For most of her life, Jenn felt weird, different, and out of place because of her quiet ways.

If you’re dating an introvert, don’t take it personally when we retreat to the comfort (and quiet) of our home. Dating can be draining for anyone. Dating an introvert can seem a bit baffling at times, but as long as you know They want to get to the nitty-gritty of who you are, why you do the things you do.

You want this person to be a part of your life. You get your wish, and the two of you finally make the choice to go out together. When you take your date to parties, they begin to visibly wilt after an hour or two, and linger near the door, as if they want to escape. They become irritable for no reason you can discern. Worst of all, they sometimes blow you off, not to fulfill some obligation, but to simply do nothing.

Although this might be true for some introverts, or just occasionally true for others, introverts have a variety of qualities that go deeper into the realm of psychology.

Are you interested in an introvert? Wondering how to get close to someone who loves to be alone? Often quiet and reserved, introverts may seem like a mysterious bunch.

Dating a introvert guy

It can be hard to date an introvert if you are extroverted or simply not familiar with the way introverts work. They may not like large group settings, unfamiliarity and be a little more quiet and reserved. So, take heart—there many forms of body language, communication, and observation you can use to foster a successful relationship with an introvert. Take the time to get to know your introverted partner. You can sometimes have a rich conversation just by asking them what’s happening in their internal world. Still waters run deep, so expect to see more of their personality, gifts, and strengths emerge over time.

4 Red Flags When Dating An Introvert That May Be Hard To Pick Up On

Her husband of 35 years is an extrovert. There are a lot of differences between those with extroverted personalities and those with introverted personalities—and they go much deeper than a preference for going out versus staying in—but one key variation between the two is often the culprit when conflict arises. Helgoe explains. With that said, Dr. Helgoe tells me that navigating such a relationship can actually help you grow in ways that dating someone who is more similar to you cannot. Introverts, says Dr. Helgoe, need a lot of time to process their thoughts before they speak. Therefore, to best enable dialogue with an introvert, she says, you need to give them space. According to Dr.

Introverts have a lot of wonderful strengths , many of which people are just now coming to appreciate, but interacting with people is definitely not one of them.

Why not just cut to the chase and get to real, meaningful conversation? Another thing to keep in mind as you go forth and date: Introverts tend to clam up at big parties, seeking out the nearest snack table, dog or cat. Instead, make an effort to socialize on your own terms, said writer and self-professed introvert Jill Savage.

How to Date an Introvert: 15 Important Things You Can’t Overlook

Guest Contributor. First dates are stressful enough ; but when you are an introvert, they can be panic-inducing. While no magic wand can take your introversion away, there are some things you can do to master the art of the first date. Should you decide that you want some new shoes or even a new outfit for your date, go for it. You will spend the date being very self-conscious because you are not comfortable with such a change. The goal is to increase your comfort level , and dressing as you always do will help that. Meeting for a drink or coffee or attending some short event is usually the best for an introvert. There is comfort in knowing that it will be short up front, and you will have far less dread or stress. And, if thing goes well, that short chunk of time can always be extended into dinner or something else. If this is the short first date, choose a coffee shop, simple restaurant, or a small bar you already know. You will be familiar with the table arrangements, the location and parking, the menu, and the people who will be waiting on you.

7 Dating Tips for Introverts

The purpose of this information is not meant to lure an introvert in, but to help you learn how to handle conflicts and other touchy situations that pop up in your relationship. Knowing what an introvert is like is the first step in understanding how to date an introvert. While people possess different types of personalities, being an introvert is not one of them. A person can be more inclined towards introversion or extroversion. And those who lean more toward introversion are believed to be shy and guarded.

However, to get to that level of understanding with one another, Olivera suggests learning what type of extrovert you are, as well as what type of introvert your partner is. One way to do so is through the Meyers-Briggs test so you can figure out your personality type. You can either do the test online or with someone like a therapist. She says this may include giving them space alone, asking if they want support, and reminding them you are there for them. Introverts can offer extroverts the opportunity to slow down, reflect, self-soothe and increase introspection. Extroverts can offer introverts the opportunity to try new experiences, meet new people, and grow in new ways. But you shouldn’t.

To every introvert, the act of finding a significant other means doing the opposite of what you love most — blowing through another Netflix murder mystery series in fleece-lined sweatpants. But if you actually want a partner-in-crime-docs, it means the dreaded Putting Yourself Out There. Yes, it might mean squandering a night in for a Tinder date who talks about investment banking all night long and never ask you a single question. But, luckily, there are some ways to make the act of going out just a little less of a daunting hell-ride. Here are 11 tips for dating if you’re a tried-and-true introvert:.

We swiped each other on Tinder, I told him I liked his dimples, and after a few days of nonstop witty texting , we met for drinks at a hipster hangout in the East Village. The text game and sexual attraction were strong across the airwaves. We had a few drinks. I did all the talking. I carried the conversation; regaling him with stories of wild nights out.

Dating an introvert can seem a bit baffling and overwhelming at times because they approach life much differently, but as long as you go into it with an open mind and know what to expect, a relationship with an introvert can be very rewarding. Introverts would rather just skip the introductions and subtle banter, and get straight to the good stuff. What are your fears? Deepest secrets? Thoughts about the afterlife?

13 Signs An Introvert Likes You!