What to do if your daughter is dating a loser

Content
  • How to Talk to a Teenage Daughter About a Bad Boyfriend
  • What to do if your sister or daughter is dating a loser?
  • How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser
  • What to do when your daughter is dating a loser
  • Ask Rene: My Daughter’s Throwing Her Life Away With This LOSER!
  • Bright daughter’s relationship worries her parents
  • Helping a Daughter Who Loves a Loser
  • When You Don’t Approve of Your Adult Child’s Relationship
  • How Do I Disapprove of My Daughter’s Friend or Boyfriend Without Being an Invasive Mom?

Whether it’s a new boyfriend who seems like he’s bad news or a friend who sets off that little warning light in your brain, deciding how to handle these kinds of situations is one of the biggest struggles I’ve heard moms talk about. On the one hand, because you’re such a protective and loving mom, you probably want to barricade the front door and not let that person within 10 feet of your precious girl believe me, when I’ve heard girls in workshops talk about bad news boyfriends or mean friends, I’ve felt the exact same way! But at the same time, you don’t want to go too far and drive a wedge between the two of you. So how do you find the right balance? When I received this question from a HuffPost reader, it took me back to two particular times when my own mom and I were facing this issue.

How to Talk to a Teenage Daughter About a Bad Boyfriend

Please note: Sixteen-year-old Leah, a star soccer player, has led a perfect life. When she meets a sexy older guy, attracted to his independence, she begins to spread her wings. Drinking, ignoring curfew, dabbling in drugs-all this feels like freedom to her. Twelve-year-old Justine, caught between the parents she loves and the big sister she adores, finds herself in the fight of her life, trying desperately to pull her family together. Your daughter is nothing like Leah, of course.

A lovely young woman, she respects you — and herself — far too much to ever date a bad guy, never mind a boy you detest. You have great instincts. So go with your gut. Let him — and your daughter — know that nothing he does or says will ever change the way you feel. If your daughter argues or cries, even though it breaks your heart, try to ignore her. Make pointed remarks about his family, his friends, his clothes, the way he walks or talks or combs his hair.

Be relentless. The goal is to get under his skin. The rest of you: Cry, whine, pray aloud, lie in bed with your shades drawn. Your entire clan, dead or alive, is disappointed in her. Dear God. A grandparent or favorite aunt or uncle must be rolling over in his or her grave. In fact, the entire town is talking about her.

If, in a guilt-induced depression, she hurts herself — well, you meant well anyway. Now drag out the big guns: Make these comparisons often — daily if necessary — until they sink in. Stop at nothing. Resort to cruelty, if you must, insults or name-calling. However tempted you are to loosen up, hang tough. You love her. It hurts you more than it could ever hurt her. Under your disapproving eye, her resolve will evaporate.

If she falls into a depression, see number 3. You tried. Grit your teeth: Give your daughter an ultimatum. This is your house. Cut the kid loose or get out. Those are her choices. If she cries or makes excuses or threatens to leave, ignore her. Do not, under any circumstances , deviate from the plan. You must go through with this. Dig deep. Remind yourself: You are in charge. Repeat if you have to. Make it a mantra. I am the parent. I am in charge. Be warned: You may find that, rather than pushing boyfriend out of your life, you push your daughter away.

Isn’t it sad that so many people think this is actually the way they should react when a child makes choices they disapprove of? Criticism and harsh judgement never work the way we hope they will. Love is always the answer! Hi Veronica — that’s so true! In the book, Leah’s parents make so much mistakes — it’s their gut reaction to her ‘bad boy’ boyfriend. In the end, if they’d take the time to listen and connect with Leah, so many of these mistakes could have been avoided!

Love is NOT the answer. Teenagers are sneaky, deceitful and self righteous. Her father and I tried the love and understanding bit when he walked out but she went running when he called. Hi Julia — isn’t it just?! I know it’s a little mean to ‘poke fun’ at my characters, but even as I wrote the mistakes they made I cringed. I wanted to write this piece to show how one wrong step can escalate into five wrong steps!

As Veronica commented: Thank you so much Adam — parenting can be tough and sometimes a little dose of humor is sorely needed! It has had me smiling for at least the last half an hour. So for that I am very greatful. One of the best things I have read for ages. I’d suggest letting the scenario play out rather than forcing the hand. I don’t need to judge for my kids.

Give them time to judge for themselves. Sorry Terri, but reading these lines it seems that teenagers are slave to their harmones and so are elders. We also have decided that we hate someone and we are not willing to give anymore chances to others. Although I agree that sometimes it becomes difficult to accept something our kids have decided however unsure they are and we want them to do what we have decided for them.

Its a natural human tendency and parents possesiveness and ego towards their kids that they are elder and more smarter. In the end its a never ending fight between teenage harmones vs parents harmones. Anyways interesting post.. As a mother of four, I enjoyed reading this book. There needs to be more resources out there that compassionately examine the perspective of parents that are struggling to provide a good home and foundation for their adolescent children.

We struggle with so many different factors facing our teens approaching adulthood and have fewer examples that demonstrate maturity, love, and responsibility ,due to the pervasive me first attitude found within our culture. At what point does an individual become responsible for the choices they make that affect those around them so negatively, and how do we teach teens to balance independence with compassion for others?

If bad decisions are meet with thwarted attempts to understand our children, what are we suppose to do other than search, wait…. The idea that handling such a situation differently,through the tolerance, understanding and patience as suggested,does not always prevent devastating outcomes that leave parents carrying huge burdens of regret and guilt. Parents need to support one another; the blame game only further alienates parents and the resultant emotional isolation further jeopardizes the chances of finding healthy resolutions.

Thank you for you comments. Although I did find humor in the blog post, I too worry about what is the right way to handle things with my 15 year old daughter. But we did what we thought was right to protect our daughter. Is there any way now to remedy the situation when ot backfires. Thus is bad advice.

This will make them even closer. You are given them something to bond their relationship, the hatred for you. Please make it clearer that this is a joke, don’t you know there are parents out there that might follow this advice? Interesting blog. There is no right or wrong solutions when a parent is faced with this problem. I personally chose to be supportive and loving, but got slammed in the face. Now my daughter is stuck with a manipulative cheating bastard and has 22 children by him.

And guess who had to pay the birthing bills? Anyway, I do not have the pleasure of seeing my daughter or grandchildren because he has twisted her mind terribly. I further explained this is for the benefit of my grandchildren and myself. Sure it is painful. I miss her everyday, but she must see for herself what kind of jerk she is with and it is happening very quickly. I can only hope in time she will understand.

What to do if your daughter is dating a loser – Rich woman looking for older woman & younger woman. I’m laid back and get along with. When young people are crazy in love, it can seem really crazy to the adults around them. At times, it can seem like the biggest mistake your child could make .

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Page 1: What to know about how the world i think is panicking that is dating a loser who do!

Dear Amy: My university graduate daughter has been seeing a year-old guy for three years. Although we were nice to him at the beginning, he is no longer allowed in our home because he has been disrespectful toward us and has called us names.

How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser

View the discussion thread. Michael J. Bradley, EdD, award-winning author, has counseled adolescents and their parents for over 30 years and currently has a private practice in suburban Philadelphia. As a recognized specialist in adolescent behavior and parenting, Dr. Bradley is in demand as a speaker and facilitator for mental health professionals, educators, and parenting groups. Skip to main content.

What to do when your daughter is dating a loser

Dear Dr. Carver, Thank you for your brilliant articles. She has never dated anyone else. She has broken up with him at least 50 times, but only for a day or two at a time. She is addicted to him. He has fought us in every parenting decision we have made concerning our daughter — for six years. He is the worst thing that has happened to our family. Looking back, we wish we had shipped her off somewhere when she was

She needs to coach, witty daughter is dating again, that comes from music. Pregnancy symptoms due date his make it?

November 7th, , Hello, I’m new here, and found this forum trying to figure out why my daughter is doing what she’s doing! She is 25, and has a ‘history’ of dating ‘losers’. Her last one was 6 years ago, and ended up with her having my grandsons, who is the love of my life.

Ask Rene: My Daughter’s Throwing Her Life Away With This LOSER!

The woman talking with me is more than a little upset. In fact, she is beside herself with worry and disapproval. Yet she swears he is the love of her life and she defends him! We want him to stop seeing her and find a girl who is appropriate. Love and romance. If only it were sensible. Sometimes it is. When young people are crazy in love, it can seem really crazy to the adults around them. At times, it can seem like the biggest mistake your child could make. At times, it can threaten the very fabric of family life and the larger family culture. When that happens, parents are challenged to the depths of their souls.

Bright daughter’s relationship worries her parents

Just because you don’t like your teenager’s partner doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. However, if the signs are there — he’s flunking out of school, using or selling drugs or treating your child badly — it’s your job as a parent to step in. Making demands is likely to backfire because your teen is at an age when it’s developmentally appropriate to assert her individuality. Approaching her with love and concern is crucial to persuading her to stop dating a loser. Talk to your teen about what constitutes a healthy relationship.

Helping a Daughter Who Loves a Loser

In most states she can just marry the loser, andthen things are much worse. An acquaintance of ours had the same problem. Her daughter had dated an inappropriate guy for five or six years – thru her freshman year. Mid-way thru her sophomore year he started getting jealous of her college activities and new friends. He finally started down the “it’s me or them” road and she chose “them”. Your friend should absolutely try to get the girl to make new college friwnds and get involved in campus activities, with no aspersions cast on him.

When You Don’t Approve of Your Adult Child’s Relationship

My daughter started seeing a guy her first boyfriend when she was 17 against our wishes. So we just hoped it would play out. I felt like something was wrong with him so ran background check, found out he is 28, has no job, no phone, no car, no money and lives with grandmother. The day our daughter turned 18, she got mouthy and hateful, packed her bags and moved in with my parents, against our wishes. I am not going to give her any more money ever. She is planning on marrying and supporting him. He is a lazy, no good bum and I think he is on drugs.

How Do I Disapprove of My Daughter’s Friend or Boyfriend Without Being an Invasive Mom?

Tiffany Raiford has several years of experience writing freelance. Her writing focuses primarily on articles relating to parenting, pregnancy and travel. Raiford is a graduate of Saint Petersburg College in Florida. The bad boy persona is one that teen girls — and women — are presented with on TV, in movies and in books, according to Boston-based psychiatrist Susan Carey. These bad boys often are dangerous and inappropriate, but they turn out to be sweet guys by the end. However, it becomes a problem when your teenage daughter’s boyfriend is actually just a bad boyfriend and bad influence.

Please note: Sixteen-year-old Leah, a star soccer player, has led a perfect life. When she meets a sexy older guy, attracted to his independence, she begins to spread her wings. Drinking, ignoring curfew, dabbling in drugs-all this feels like freedom to her. Twelve-year-old Justine, caught between the parents she loves and the big sister she adores, finds herself in the fight of her life, trying desperately to pull her family together. Your daughter is nothing like Leah, of course. A lovely young woman, she respects you — and herself — far too much to ever date a bad guy, never mind a boy you detest.

When a Fuckboy wants to date your daughter