Therapist dating former clients

  • Therapy Is Not a Place for Romance
  • Why Your Therapist Can’t Be Your Friend
  • Sexual Issues
  • Dating my therapist
  • New guidelines on dual relationships
  • Psychologist says love affair with former patient ‘destroyed’ his life
  • ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Does a Client Ever Stop Being a Client?
  • Client/Therapist Relationship
  • Friendship with therapist after therapy ends | The PsychCafe

The first time my shrink kissed me was in his office. I was 24 and had been his client for six months. When I started therapy with him I was living in Denver, collecting unemployment and feeling lost. My father had just died unexpectedly of a burst aorta back East while I was on a backpacking trip.

Therapy Is Not a Place for Romance

Yes, I’ve learned about all the benefits of being a Patron Member Click here if you missed seeing them: Community Psychotherapy Help. I can cancel at any time before then and my card will not be charged. That once my credit card is charged, there is no refund offered. I know there are ethical codes concerning personal relationships between T’s and clients while the are in a professional relationship. I also know there are “rules” about relationships after therapy ends.

I’m not talking about a sexual relationship here – just friendship. Actually, I guess I’m really only talking about the opportunity for friendship, since it’s impossible to know if one would even develop without trying it. What are the guidelines on that sort of thing? Has anyone ever had a relationship with a former therapist? If so, how did it work out? Original Post. Attachment Girl Admin. Hi Vitaluna, Welcome to the forums! The guidelines on friendship can vary from therapist to therapist and the actual rules can be State dependent.

However, having said that most professional associations in the US prohibit a personal relatinship with a client during therapy and for two years after the end of therapy; furthermore, the therapist may NOT end therapy for the sole reason of starting the waiting period. All that said, some therapists have a “once a client, always a client” policy my present T does so that the door always remains open for you to come back if you need to do more work.

The truth is that the therapy relationship only works when it is solely focused on the client’s needs and that precludes having a personal relationship with the T. And there is an inherent power differential between the T and the client that doesn’t ever completely disappear so it’s difficult to make the transition between therapy and friendship. Almost without exception, attempts at personal relationships end up not working out and in many cases are damaging to both the client and the work they previously did with their therapist.

I know we’ve discussed the topic before many times on the site, I’m going to try to dig up some old posts and post the links here. I’m looking forward to getting to know you. Like Reply 0 Likes. I know that the ethical code varies some depending on the licensure that one obtained, but I want to say that a general guideline is 2 years. It’s been too long since I had that class went to school to be a T, but never was. I can speak to this from a personal standpoint as well.

I had a T in my early 20’s and I saw her for several years. She was a great T and we had a great professional relationship. From time to time she told me that she was doing something with me that she didn’t normally do with clients etc. Anyway, we ended therapy and it was a natural process. About 7 months after we ended, I made contact with her to let her know that I had given birth. She had asked me to let her know and we had a few brief phone contacts and one in person at her house prior to that.

She came to see my new baby at my house and said that if I ever needed a sitter to let her know. She knew that I had major issues trusting anyone with my baby and I certainly trusted her! So, she babysat once or twice for my baby at her home. She had moved into a new house during my pregnancy and I have to say that it was quite strange being shown around your former T’s home and seeing her bedroom and private space.

Very weird. However, it all felt pretty natural as she was a “mother” figure to me and I enjoyed her company. I was the same age close to her two daughters and she saw much of them in me. She suggested that her daughter become my sitter and so over the next few years, her daughter babysat for my baby and future baby as well. We had dinner with my T and her family every now and then as well. I moved away and we didn’t have any contact other than Holiday cards for many years.

About five years ago, she called me to congratulate me on the birth of my last child. I talked to her daughter at that time as well. Her daughter and I recently started speaking again and I have emailed and talked on the phone to former T a handful of times this past year. So, for us it has been ok. It’s not a super tight relationship, but it works.

It does still feel like the relationship is unequal though. I’m not sure if that is the age difference and that I see her as a “mother” figure or if it was that we did T. I know I could always call her if I wanted to and vice versa. However, I have to say that it was a shock to see how my former T was in “real life” vs in T.

She was much different than I expected. It wasn’t bad, just different and a bit of a let down at times. So, having rambled on about that forever I have to say that if I had the choice now that I would not pursue a relationship with a T outside of T. My current T and I talked about this at the beginning of my therapy because I mentioned the relationship with my former T. I assured my current T that I have no interest and I would not try to pursue a relationship with her once we were finished.

She never would anyway as she was not pleased when I told her about former T and she holds very tight boundaries. I appreciate that and even though I love my T, it confuses things when you change the relationship. I also would never be able to go back to my T if I needed to re-enter therapy and that is not a gamble that I’m willing to take.

Of course, by the time I finish T this time I think my T will be ready to retire so that may be a moot point! Hope that helps to answer your question. Not trying to scare you but you might want to read about IHTS’s experience: I’m dealing with the strangest therapist relationship stuff right now, and it’s all so confusing. Nothing unethical has happened, but there have been some boundary crossings that have left me feeling unsure of what to do next.

This is my first experience with therapy, and it truly has been very helpful to me. Even the weird relationship stuff has been helpful in an unexpected way. But I wonder if therapy with my T will ever be the same. I wonder if it’s better to move on now. On the other hand, I can see how the relationship confusion could be excellent therapy material for my current T and me.

Oh, I’m totally rambling here. I’m usually more articulate. Any input? Hi vitaluna, and welcome to the forums! You are right that the therapy relationship can be so confusing, and we have so many questions. This forum is an invaluable resource for finding others who have felt the same way about what you are going through And the issue of boundaries is no exception.

In general, if you are uneasy about what is happening in the relationship, then it needs to be discussed. You’ve already received some great feedback with two contrasting examples of boundary crossings – IHTS’s experience which started out feeling good but ended up being very hurtful to her, and STRM’s and Draggers’ experiences which ended up working out. Did hearing about these experiences help to pinpoint what is going on for you?

Can you be more specific about what you are seeing, and why you feel uneasy or confused about it? Not that you have to do that, if you’re not comfortable Take care, SG. It’s nice to meet you. I think this can be an extremely confusing issue, fraught with all kinds of pitfalls and exceptions and varies from person to person, therapist to therapist.

It’s hard without a specific example to figure out if boundaries have been crossed for you. That being siad, I can totally understand if you don’t want to say anything specific. We all value our anonymoity here greatly, that is the truth. However, I could say that if anything sexual happened, that would be a huge boundary violation, I think across the board, and would leave a person very confused, for sure, very hurt, I know that because a friend of a friend went through such a thing and it was hugely traumatic for her.

However, I know from here other times a T will make the call to cross a boundary, and it can be hugely healing thing Again, welcome! Wow, you’re all so helpful! Thank you very much. Here’s my story: I started seeing my T in September of last year. I’d never been to therapy before, but I was feeling more depressed than ever before and was ready to try anything. In the beginning I had my doubts that it would be helpful, but soon I could see that it WAS doing good things for me.

I still felt depressed though, and after a few months, I asked my primary care doc to put me on an anti-depressant. He did as I requested, and it’s been such a relief.

Various codes of ethics will tell you that a therapist must wait anywhere between 1–5 years and sometimes never before dating a client. In both. The issue here is whether or not the therapist/client relationship truly lasts in perpetuity. If a therapist and former patient meet some 10 or 15 years after the last.

Complete comparative list of different Codes of Ethics on a variety of topics. As a result, multiple roles of teacher-therapist and student-client were very common and often unavoidable in such training institutions and programs. Trainees are allowed to fulfill the therapy or analysis requirement with therapists or analysts from outside the institutes in order to avoid the dual roles of clients and students. The issues of sexual relationships between faculty and students in training institutions and graduate and post-graduate programs has also been a major concern in recent decades. Standard I:

It makes sense that you might want to normalize the relationship by asking to go for a coffee or have lunch; to invite her to a family wedding or at least to, please, share more information about her life with you. The therapeutic relationship is different by design.

Dear Dr. Rob, I know you said that dual relationships with your shrink are inappropriate, but what about after therapy is over?


Over the past three decades, researchers have examined multiple relationships between psychotherapists and their current and former clients, and boundary issues have been explored in the ethics literature. In day-to-day practice, multiple relationships also known as dual-role relationships with current clients are commonplace for some practitioners. In some instances, these relationships can be unavoidable and even beneficial. For example, it is not uncommon for a school counselor to also be the coach of a sports team, thus filling both a counselor and a coach role for students. Discussions of multiple relationships with former clients have been relatively scarce until recent years.

Sexual Issues

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If Hollywood is an indicator of our most common fantasies, modern Americans want to sleep with their therapists.

Social Workers as Whistle Blowers. Addressing an Overt Challenge to the Code of Ethics.

Dating my therapist

The recent revision of the ACA Code of Ethics significantly changes the ethical guidelines related to dual relationships. Careful review of the specific ethics code language addressing dual relationships is imperative in order to navigate this prevalent ethical issue. Though the code offered guidance on the topic of dual relationships, the ACA Code of Ethics provides more explicit guidelines about which dual relationships are ethically acceptable and which are strictly prohibited. Dual relationships exist on a continuum ranging from potentially beneficial interactions to harmful interactions. One dual relationship that is always considered harmful is a sexual relationship with a client. The revision of the ACA Code of Ethics reiterates and expands the ban on sexual relationships with clients. Another substantive revision is the extension of the time ban on sexual relationships with former clients. In the code, the specified period of waiting was two years, with extensive justification after two years that such a relationship would not be harmful to the former client. The code extends this period to five years. Echoing the previous code, the code states in Standard A. Though sexual relationships with clients are clearly prohibited, nonsexual relationships are ethically permissible under certain circumstances. The code instructed counselors to avoid nonsexual dual relationships when it was possible to do so.

New guidelines on dual relationships

Sex between therapists and clients has emerged as a significant phenomenon, one that the profession has not adequately acknowledged or addressed. Extensive research has led to recognition of the extensive harm that therapist-client sex can produce. Nevertheless, research suggests that perpetrators account for about 4. This chapter looks at the history of this problem, the harm it can cause, gender patterns, the possibility that the rate of therapists sexually abusing their clients is declining, and the mental health professions’ urgent, unfinished business in this area. When people are hurting, unhappy, frightened, or confused, they may seek help from a therapist.

Psychologist says love affair with former patient ‘destroyed’ his life

Miss Dungey sued Dr Pates for professional negligence, claiming he took advantage of her by having a love affair with her after treating her, after he told her he no longer loved her. Dr Pates, 60, said: The court got it right and thank God for the British legal system. But I am not a happy bunny because this has destroyed my life. People say I should sue her Miss Dungey but I cannot afford to. Dr Pates, who lives near Ebbw Vale, South Wales, said that after being forced out of his post, he was now in retirement.

‘Til Death Do Us Part: Does a Client Ever Stop Being a Client?

Return to Practitioners’ Lounge. Legally, can there be a friendship between clients and therapists? What are the guidelines for out of work encounters? No friendship between client and counsellor. Every encounter with the therapist outside the counselling sessions SHOULD be brought into the room and worked with – never ignored. There is no law, but there are the ethics of psychotherapy and counselling.

Client/Therapist Relationship

Yes, I’ve learned about all the benefits of being a Patron Member Click here if you missed seeing them: Community Psychotherapy Help. I can cancel at any time before then and my card will not be charged. That once my credit card is charged, there is no refund offered. I know there are ethical codes concerning personal relationships between T’s and clients while the are in a professional relationship. I also know there are “rules” about relationships after therapy ends.

Friendship with therapist after therapy ends | The PsychCafe

Хотя, быть может, подумал Халохот, Беккер не видел, как он вошел в башню. Это означало, что на его, Халохота, стороне фактор внезапности, хотя вряд ли он в этом так уж нуждается, у него и так все козыри на руках. Ему на руку была даже конструкция башни: лестница выходила на видовую площадку с юго-западной стороны, и Халохот мог стрелять напрямую с любой точки, не оставляя Беккеру возможности оказаться у него за спиной, В довершение всего Халохот двигался от темноты к свету.

Расстрельная камера, мысленно усмехнулся. Халохот оценил расстояние до входа.

Therapists Attracted to Clients