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  • It’s not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany
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  • It’s not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany
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It’s not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany

This article is available to Members of The Local. Berlin boasts a reputation as the city of singles, with half of its residents living alone. Those looking for love don’t easily have luck in the transient place with party vibes. That’s why dating coach and American expat Talya Shoup was in for a challenge when she set up a matchmaking service there, geared for people looking for serious relationships.

To date, half of her clients have begun seeing someone she initially introduced them to. It’s more typical to get to know someone through an existing circle of friends, through work or through neighbours, she observed. Canadian expat Laurel Robbins encountered similar challenges in Munich. Recently single after a year-long relationship with a German, she headed to an Irish pub with some friends, noticing that no one there was mingling with strangers – even after a couple beers – as they would in North America.

For a breath of fresh air, she turned to one of her favourite hobbies: There she found it easier to strike up a conversation with other expats and Germans, both platonically and as potential flames. Yet there was still shaky ground when she found herself on a date with someone from the group. In North America, it’s playful on dates whereas Germans treat it as a job interview.

Many Germans’ detailed and analytical nature, however, has boded well for online dating, observes Shoup. They often tend to be more private people who like that it’s easy to cautiously get to know someone online first. While every person is different, there is no doubt that dating websites and apps in Germany are booming, with one in five people using one to meet a potential partner in Stephan, 38, a German living in Berlin, turned to okcupid.

He found himself in a more difficult landscape than in his 20s, when he met his long-term partner through work and after a few dates decided they were in an exclusive relationship. With online dating, he has had no problems meeting women, but instead of the third or fourth date evolving into something more serious, it usually ends. Shy about approaching a woman in German or English, Max, 30, turned to the app Tinder to find a partner, contrary to its application as an app for easy hook-ups.

Yet in the end he met his girlfriend after a stand-up comedy show. Shoup herself turned to online dating when she did not meet anyone with serious potential in Berlin. In the end she met her dream man – only he lived in Vienna. Now the two are engaged and set to be married in Hamburg, where Shoup has seen a culture more conducive to serious relationships.

Even in cities such as Berlin, she advised Germans and expats alike to get involved with meet-ups, whether cooking or dancing, to meet people with similar interests. The group InterNations is another resource for both expats and internationally minded Germans, and where a handful of people she knows have met their mates. She also urged singles to give speed dating a shot – even if just for practice making small talk with strangers.

Where I’m from [in southern Germany] anyone you meet who is not a student is usually there for the long haul. The double-edged sword of dating a German, observed Robbins, is that they will exhibit honesty from the very beginning to the very end. The same culture applies to break-ups, said British expat Laura, whose German boyfriend of three years one day told her that he thought their relationship should end.

In vivid detail, he explained he was interested in an acquaintance and wanted to see where it would go. She contrasted her own story with that of another friend, who found out her American husband was cheating on her when an alert popped up on her phone when she wasn’t in the room. Robbins adds that when it comes to dating, she can always rely on Germans to be honest. Germany’s news in English Search. News categories Berlin Munich Hamburg More….

Membership My account Gift voucher Corporate Help center. Jobs in Germany Browse jobs Post a vacancy. Email newsletters Newsletter sign-up Edit my subscriptions. Other pages Apartment rentals Noticeboard Discussion forum. It’s not impossible: Share this article. A couple by the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. Rachel Stern. Whether on the market or coupled up, it’s not so easy to meet and date in Germany.

The Local talked to a matchmaker and singles across the country to find out the difficulties – as well as the advantages – of dating here. It’s a match: Get notified about breaking news on The Local. Popular articles Explained: Luigi – 08 Jun I somehow feel the article generalizes too much. Germans like facts and lists? I guess Americans then like burgers and coke, and British are posh and arrogant. Maybe the main problem is trying to judge a person based on superficial stereotypes.

Become a Member or sign-in to leave a comment. Latest headlines Probe launched after sports cars seized while ‘racing’ through Germany. Germany’s climate protesting youth take fight to RWE. Six events not to miss in Germany in May Why Frankfurt’s plan to build Europe’s biggest airport is making locals so angry. German police shut down major ‘darknet’ illegal trading site. German word of the day: Der Schrebergarten. Flixbus and chill? Coach driver caught watching movie while driving.

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This article is available to Members of The Local. Berlin boasts a reputation as the city of singles, with half of its residents living alone.

It’s not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany

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This article is available to Members of The Local. Berlin boasts a reputation as the city of singles, with half of its residents living alone. Those looking for love don’t easily have luck in the transient place with party vibes. That’s why dating coach and American expat Talya Shoup was in for a challenge when she set up a matchmaking service there, geared for people looking for serious relationships. To date, half of her clients have begun seeing someone she initially introduced them to.

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