Engineer dating jokes

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  • Chemistry Pick Up Lines
  • These statistics show why it’s so hard to be an average man on dating apps
  • Chemistry Pick Up Lines
  • Blog Stats
  • 45 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get
  • 45 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Joke An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two? Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced “Four.

Chemistry Pick Up Lines

Chem students do it on the table periodically You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere! Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine. If i was an enzyme, i’d be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because your cute Are you my Appendix, cause I have a gut feeling I should take you out. Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second Mind if I join in? I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation. Girl you must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive. Baby, everytime i see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up Are you made of copper? Cause I Cu in a relationship with me. You know why Men are so much sexier than women? Because you can’t spell sexy without “xy”.

I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U. My bond length might be short, but it can still give you some “electron density” Let’s find out our combined volume, by displacing the water in my water bed You must be a compound of beryllium and barium You’re so hot that you would make a nuclear reactor melt down. Your so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. Muscles that make you smile Babe you must be a neuron, because you got some action potential Are you chloroplast cause you’d be good on my stem.

Want to test the spring constant of my matress? We have great chemistry, lets do some biology I must be a diamond now, because you just gave me a hardness of 10 Baby you’ve definitely got potential, my place would be a great place to convert it to kinetic When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase. Girl gave me Arsenic Sulfide so I tore that AsS up Baby you must be made of mica rock because you have perfect cleavage You must be related to Alfred Nobel, because baby you are dynamite!

Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency? Why don’t we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you? You know.. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you. You must be Mohs scale, because You make me harder than a diamond. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm? Lets meet somewhere Baby if you let your acid react with my base, you can count on getting MOLES of my water and salt That dress would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.

Hi does your body consist of Oxygen and Neon? Baby, I can feel an attraction between you and me, and it’s more than just our universal gravitation If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put Uranium and Iodine together. Baby, we’ve got chemistry together Hey pretty lady, Scientists are still trying to find a reason for your amazing beauty. My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality. How about we make like the change of base law, with you on the bottom, and me on top?

Hey baby if i supply the voltage and you a little resistance, imagine the current we can make together. Cause your melting me away. You’re so hot, you must be the cause for global warming. Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state? I might be a physics major, but I’m no Bohr in bed. Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium, because you are Be-Au-Ti-Ful Let’s make like a transcription factor and response element and turn things on.

If I were a Shwann cell, I’d squeeze areound your axon and give you a fast action potential. Let’s convert our potential energy to kinetic energy. Baby you give my electrons a positive charge You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power! Let’s work out our orbicularis oris muscles together! The direction fields of my heart all point to you “Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you. I’ve been admiring your bacterial signature”.

Wanna alkylate my alkoxide? It’s nucleophilic and ready to backside attack the halogen out of you. Baby, you must be a pile of dinosaur bones, cause I dig you! Not only are we scientists, but we have the ability to do each other on a table, periodically. Baby, I’m like an oceanic plate on a gravity slide – I can’t wait to subduct beneath your crust! You’re so hot you denature my proteins If you were Anatomy, then I’d be Physiology because they always go together!

Hey, up for some high-energy quantum tunnelling tonight? If you were a concentration gradient I’d go down on you Hey babe, wanna pilot my pillar of autumn. Because you’re sodium fine! Girl whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away If you were C6, and i were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar You must be a magnetic monopole because all i get from you is attraction I just bought a molecular model kit, want to play with my stick and balls?

Girl are you a chaged atom, because I’ve got my ion you. Does your body produce energy by turning water into electricity? Well damn. You be the battery, I’ll be the aluminum foil and together we’ll light up the world. Forget hydrogen you’re my number one element Are you a scientist? Because I Lab you You are like a proton in my core–without you i could never be the same. Hey baby, wanna form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters? Baby, if you were oceanic crust and I was a continent, I’d let you subduct so we can make hot hot magma.

Hey baby, wanna form a zygote? You’re a moving electric charge, and I’m a moving magnetic charge Wanna flux? If you were an element, you’d be Francium, because you’re the most attractive I don’t need neurons to stimulate your sensory system. If I could program the universe, I would allocate you and I in contiguous memory blocks.

Are you a non volitaile particle? Because you raise my boiling point. If you were a laser, you’d be set on stunning. To a scientist hey can I put my Bunsen In your air-hole? You must be a cell, cause my DNA is all in you. My love for you is like the universe I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

Hey baby, can I be your enzyme? I’m A Twig You’re A Twig I’d be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state. Did you know math is just like sex? What say we slip between my beta-pleated sheets and you get to know my alpha-helix? Baby, i’m gonna break you like a large non-polar substance breaks a phospholipid bilayer!

How about you Palmitoylate my protein, so i can drive it into your lipid raft. Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us. Back to: Pick Up Lines. Jokester15, lopezdavid6. Browse Other Jokes: Browse Archived Jokes: Browse New Jokes:

15 Reasons to date an Engineer Computer Humor, Mechanical Design, Electrical 20 Jokes That Only Geeks Will Understand [Pic] Nerd Jokes, Stupid Jokes. Find and save Dating An Engineer Memes | from Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter & More.

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Joke An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two? Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced “Four.

Jokes about online dating profiles Over the difference between a lawyer’s ideal weight.

Electrician jokes are always current! And it takes a real bright spark to come up with these electrical jokes and puns.

Chemistry Pick Up Lines

The following jokes related to software testing have been compiled from forwarded emails and internet resources. Thanks to the ones who thought of them first. A group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. The Aviation Department had a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The theory was that if the windshield does not crack from the impact of the chicken, it will survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

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The multi-billionaire entrepreneur, investor and engineer has reportedly been ‘quietly’ dating the Canadian musician according to Page Six , and indeed they made their red carpet debut together at last night’s Met Gala see last pic, below. The pair reportedly met about a month ago online, after Grimes reportedly made a joke about AI three years ago in a music video that Musk had been intending to make himself, relating to thought experiment Roko’s Basilisk. Grimes had a character in her video for ‘ Flesh Without Blood’ called ‘Rococo Basilisk’ that apparently appealed to the 53rd richest person in the world. They were both poking fun at AI. The couple have been publicly tweeting flirty in-jokes for the past few weeks, but it aaaaaall makes sense now. But Hank Scorpio , Grimes? Also, are you aware that he wants to die on Mars? Think about this before you get into it, girl. I refuse to accept that single pop girls have no options but Jack Antonoff and Elon Musk!

Well, only if they make you LOL heartily. Hate memes?

A graphic designer, for example, is usually a creative thinker who simultaneously enjoys the structure of a desk job; while a consultant might be more of a demiurge who likes to be independent of a boss and office. In both scenarios, we can further deduce what kinds of personality traits are associated with each job. You can easily spot an analyst or stockbroker outside the office investment bankers are still at the office working because they are the only tools that think a full suit is a good look at a dive bar. They base their logic in terms of investments, which could go something like this:

45 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get

This comes from my awesome engineering-student little cousin…I laughed for days. Because its so true. I love it when my engineer jokes come from actaul engineers who I meet. This one is from an old-school civil engineer-turned contract lawyer. Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. A Engineer gets home from work and sees a note on the fridge from his wife. The engineer thinks to himself. A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:

45 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get

Chem students do it on the table periodically You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere! Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine. If i was an enzyme, i’d be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because your cute Are you my Appendix, cause I have a gut feeling I should take you out.

Dating apps are tough on the middle-of-the-road guy. If you are not one of the most desirable men on the app, you probably are not getting much attention. He found that inequality on dating apps is stark, and that it was significantly worse for men. The reason for this gender disparity is probably not that women are more appearance-focused than men. The most likely explanation is that women, who are generally less likely to initiate contact, have a higher threshold when they do so.

If you need some engineering humor to brighten up your life, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the internet. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that most people just don’t understand. We joke about things like electricity and programming languages — and nothing could be funnier. If you need some more material or just need to brighten up your day, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the web. Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference.

Toggle navigation. Engineer dating jokes Any general tips or advice for dating an engineer? These engineers may look serious for the camera, but you can bet they know a lot of funny engineering jokes!. Lambert, Getty Images. Join Now for Free! Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. Somehow, I seem to have engineer dating jokes to turn this off.

For all you engineers out there, here is what will make you laugh today. Not everyone might be able to but every engineer will be able to relate to these situations and will surely, laugh out loud:. November 5, August 4, March 4, Your email address will not be published. Ephemeralism Art by Fra.

Engineers and Dating Life – ACM Productions