Dating question what are you looking for

Content
  • 12 questions to ask your dating app matches if you’re looking for something serious
  • 7 Questions To Ask Someone You’re Dating To Make Sure You’re On The Same Page
  • 9 Answers for the Online Dating Questions Everyone Asks
  • Possible and To-the-point Questions to Ask While Dating
  • A relationship expert answers 14 of your most burning dating questions
  • The “What are you looking for” Question
  • 18 First Date Questions From The Experts

When I was dating I remember constantly being smothered with that giant question like a bloated bear was sitting on my head, refusing to move. To magically stumble upon The One like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow that is being carried by a unicorn with leprechaun jockey. Marriage is like rolling Play-Doh, the more two different colors are meshed together the harder it becomes to distinguish one from another. In marriage you begin to rub off on each other, subtly taking on traits and characteristics of the other.

12 questions to ask your dating app matches if you’re looking for something serious

Years ago, I was just out of a terrible relationship and in no mood to date again. My friends were all excited for my between-boyfriend time. I’d enjoy an exhilarating freedom—I could learn how to paint or wear yoga pants all weekend long if I wanted. Best of all, there were hundreds of online dating sites waiting for me to sign on. There was just one problem: I didn’t want to throw myself back into the dating pool.

It was exhausting and often demoralizing. An attractive guy would send me a message. We’d meet up later that day, when I’d discover that he was a five inches shorter than he listed in his profile; b “fun-employed” and no longer looking for a job; c still in some kind of relationship; d possibly a serial killer; e all of the above. I wasn’t interested in meeting dozens of single men. I just wanted to find the right man, someone who was perfect for me.

Between the time I started online dating and now, I’ve discovered exactly how dating websites work. I’ve tracked and analyzed data, spoken to computer scientists, and figured out what makes certain profiles successful. I even wrote a book about what I learned—and included a final chapter written by the man who took me out on my last-ever first date. Whether you’re creating a new profile or you’re a longtime, frustrated online dater, I have some insights that will help make your experience better.

It may seem like online dating is straightforward, but what’s happening behind the scenes—and your screen—can be confusing and can often produce bizarre results. In part because of how dating sites are designed, most of us see photos first, and that’s when we determine whether to read through the rest of a profile. It has to do more with neuroscience than superficiality.

We’re drawn to photos over text, because we can process that visual information and make inferences more quickly. If you use Pinterest, which puts all its emphasis on photos, you already know the power of an image. Online retailers showcase photos of their products for good reason. It causes people to click and buy. With this in mind, think about the photos you’ve uploaded. Are they half-hearted selfies? Or do you look absolutely stunning—showing a little skin, wearing fresh makeup, looking happy?

I don’t want anyone to know who I am in real life. What happens if I decide not to include a photo? Chances are extremely good that few people will click through your profile. If they do send you a message, a photo is likely to be the first thing they ask for. You need to post two to four casual photos of just yourself. Am I really being matched with someone specifically for me, or is it all random chance? In most cases, it’s random chance.

The problem has to do with how dating sites collect and parse our data. A lot of sites ask some very basic questions, like whether you smoke or what religion you are. If you smoke a cigarette every now and again, maybe only when you’re having a cocktail, does that make you a smoker? To some people, yes. We’re all incredibly nuanced. Dating sites are built to interview you individually, and I’d hazard a guess that you’re not painting a truly accurate picture of yourself online.

It’s OK—none of us do. Some sites ignore your answers and instead look at your behaviors. You might say that you’re looking for a tall businessman, but you only click on profiles compact musicians. The site will use your behavioral data and match you on that. But again, there might be a good reason you’re clicking on men who seem contrary to your stated preferences: You’re curious, you’re bored, you’re looking with a girlfriend and that happens to be her type. There’s a much better way of matching people—asking you to describe exactly what you’re looking for in specific terms.

We may fib a little when describing whether we smoke, but what incentive is there to stretch the truth about what we want in a mate? I keep hearing about dating apps, like Tinder. How are they different from online dating sites? Which one should I use? Unlike online dating sites, most mobile apps are free, require just a few seconds to set up, and include a real-time geolocation feature, which is to say that they’re more immediate.

They’re also photo-intensive. Set your location, age, and gender preferences and you’ll see a stream of pictures showing who’s available nearby. Just about everyone uses them for casual meetups, but some women I know claim that they’re finding significant others using apps like Tinder. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, stick with the traditional online dating sites.

Enough to create a curiosity gap. Think about how websites write their headlines, e. Use the same approach when writing your profile. Create a sense of mystery and excitement and give people a concrete reason to contact you. If you’re willing to expand your reach to the maximum number of miles allowed, or if you’re able to drive to the next town over, then yes. But you need to be explicit and honest about where you live early on—and you need to be willing to put in the effort to drive out to see the people you’re meeting.

I live in a massive city with millions of possibilities—why can’t I find anyone good online? This may seem counterintuitive, but it can be harder to find what you’re looking for in denser geographic areas. There’s a collective “bigger better deal” phenomenon in cities. A bigger population tends to mean more people online, and choosier daters. If you’re not having any luck, try expanding your geographic zone if you’re willing to travel.

There are many variables, so try to evaluate each one. Are you using the best possible photos? Did you write an extremely long profile? Or one that’s too short? Did you try to use sarcasm? Maybe it’s coming across as bitter rather than funny. It’s entirely possible though that you’ve done nothing wrong at all and that you have a very good profile.

Going in to refresh your profile once a day could potentially help, depending on the dating site you’re using. Some reward more active users with better placement especially if they filter by last log in or update. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you probably should buy at least a three-month membership.

Even if you do immediately find the man of your dreams, it’ll take a few months of dating before you know whether you’re officially out of the dating pool. That said, if you know exactly what you’re looking for and you have a strategy, it may take only a few weeks. Once I had my own strategy in place, the next date I went on turned out to be my last one ever. How did you finally know?

Amy Webb is the author of Data: A Love Story , out in paperback. How much should I explain about myself in my profile? I live in a small town with slim pickings. Will online dating help me? Why isn’t anyone contacting me? What did I do wrong? Should I buy a membership? How long is this going to take? More From HowAboutWe: Topics being single dating dating questions dating tips online dating.

Read More. By Halie LeSavage. By Jill Gutowitz. By Christopher Rosa.

Dating can often resemble a series of job interviews, and the “So, what are you looking for” question can feel like a conversation killer. It’s the. Honestly, when I got questions like that, my first thought was “not you.” It’s such a dumb question. I understand why it’s being asked – the asker wants to see if.

That tells me that men are trying to feel something out with this Q. This confuses the hell out of me because some men who I start seeing quickly fall into the friends or FWB category. So how do I answer this question?? How even does a dream woman answer this question??

First date question-“So, what are you looking for?

Tinder Advice 0 comments. This question is make or break… What if she is thinking the absolute worst about me? What if what we want is completely different and she stops talking to me?

9 Answers for the Online Dating Questions Everyone Asks

We live in the era where online dating is at its prime. There are tonnes of apps out there, and it seems like every day more pop up with a new and different angle. And while I’ve got no issues with online dating, it does take away the good ol’ fashion way of finding ‘the one’ – in person. Online dating is actually really hard and can be super awkward, let’s be totally honest! One of the best ways to determine how you’re going to do that, is by asking the right questions that will put you somewhat at ease.

Possible and To-the-point Questions to Ask While Dating

You can have endless conversations about work, family, and friends, sure, but sometimes it would be nice to mix things up. We love our partners, and we want to know everything about them yes, everything. We want to know their hopes, their dreams, and what they had for breakfast. It will spark an interesting chat between you and your person and teach you a little bit more about them. Who cares? So sit down, pull out this list, and prepare to find out more about this person in a silly, enlightening, intelligent, and slightly ridiculous conversation. Perfect for a special date — or just a rainy day! If you could host a dinner party with four people, living or dead, who would you invite?

Post love quotes or your couple photos. Asking men ‘questions’ during any stage of dating, courtship, or a relationship is always a dicey thing to do, as far as a woman is concerned.

Years ago, I was just out of a terrible relationship and in no mood to date again. My friends were all excited for my between-boyfriend time.

A relationship expert answers 14 of your most burning dating questions

Once upon a time, back in our parents and grandparents era, people dated, fell in love sometimes , got married, and had kids. But that’s no longer the path everyone takes. Marriage continues to be on the decline and relationships come in many shapes and sizes today. While this is beautiful in so many ways, it does make dating way more complicated. There’s a lot more to consider now when you want to make sure you and someone you’re getting into a relationship with are on the same page. But Behavioral Scientist, Clarissa Silva tells Bustle it may be best to approach dating by testing out what she calls ” Your Happiness Hypothesis “, aka “your personal algorithm that can help minimize some of our own expectations,” she says. You might find that dating based on a system testing out your happiness hypothesis, will help you figure out what is a better fit for yourself. Reversing the process of what random pool gets sent to you or selects you also empowers you. Since relationship goals and wants can vary, if you want to make sure you’re not wasting each other’s time, here are some key questions you want to ask in the early stages of a relationship. After all — your building a relationship with them. More and more people are realizing that open relationships and polyamory are a better fit for them than monogamy. But if you’re polyamorous and you’re dating someone who’s monogamous, and neither one of you will budge on the matter, it’ll be an issue.

The “What are you looking for” Question

All Rights Reserved. Terms and Conditions of Service. Sometimes they lead to burning love sometimes they go down in flames. As dating experts agree, having a slew of good first date questions can be an easy way to maintain your banter and continue a conversation. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Who are the most important people in your life?

18 First Date Questions From The Experts

Relationship coach and author of Get The Guy Matthew Hussey answers readers’ most burning questions about dating. Whenever I even think about asking someone out I just get nervous and panicky and end up bottling it completely Do you have any advice for asking someone out without looking like a rabbit in the headlights or a complete lunatic or, worse, both? The key to asking someone out is to not really ask. In other words, don’t feel your sentence needs to end with a question mark. Imagine it like this: The other the first one puts them in a spot where they really have to think about whether they’re interested.

I want to not feel so vulnerable when I talk to them. I mean, being in a hookup culture and searching for meaningful interactions with other people can be really hard. I mean like, my eyes hurt from looking at my phone screen and swiping left and right. I wanted to match with at least 10 guys, just to see how they all respond to my question. Are guys on dating apps looking for a casual hookup or a serious relationship?

I was having brunch with some girlfriends the other day, and we got on the subject of first dates. While we all had different experiences, there was one thing we all agreed on: There are a few questions we are absolutely tired of hearing from guys on a first date. Here they are, in no particular order. What do you do for fun? Some of you may be thinking that this question means the guy is trying to plan a future date for us.

I just look for someone I connect with and hope that we are both on the same page. So how do I answer the question in a way that helps me filter out the jerks and time wasters whilst still keeping my options open? So, what if you used this question as a way to fantasize about the kind of person you are attracted to and compatible with rather than to define the kind of relationship you want esp. You are physically and verbally demonstrative. You think a good evening would be scouting out a grocery store and making an ambitious recipe together.

3 Powerful Questions To Ask A Guy You’re Dating