Dating a girl with self harm scars

Content
  • Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy
  • Self-Harm: Becci answers your questions
  • Starting a new relationship with self harm scars
  • GIRLS, would you date a BOY with self harm scars? A boy that
  • Your Receipts: Dating with self harm scars
  • Your Receipts: Dating with self harm scars
  • I’m dating a girl with self harm scars?
  • Self-Injury & Relationships
  • Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy
  • How To Date A Woman With A Self-Harming Past

I’m not suicidal. I don’t sit at home in a darkened room with a razorblade carving the word hate into my forearm. I don’t have a sweeping side fringe. I have friends, a boyfriend, and a loving family. I’d be the first to admit my life has been pretty cushy:

Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy

I’m not suicidal. I don’t sit at home in a darkened room with a razorblade carving the word hate into my forearm. I don’t have a sweeping side fringe. I have friends, a boyfriend, and a loving family. I’d be the first to admit my life has been pretty cushy: Or almost anything. Ever since I can remember I’ve had horrible horrible body issues. But before I look at that, I want to discuss what self-harm or self-injury actually is. Self harm isn’t usually a sign that someone is suicidal, in most cases, it is in fact a cry for help, a method of coping, a way NOT to commit suicide.

If you find out someone you know is self harming, I urge you not to jump to the conclusion they are trying to kill themselves, and most of all, to not panic. Self harm can be done by many methods, and without going into detail, it’s anything which causes injury or pain to yourself, which you’ve done as a deliberate act. So that means accidentally cutting your wrist by brushing it against something sharp in an accident isn’t self harm, but deliberately holding your straightener at the hot end is.

Another rumor about self harm I want to dispell is that only teenage girls do it. That’s just not true. Many many men and women of all ages self harm, and statistics show that if you’re in a developed country 1 in 3 people will self harm at some point in your life. So if you go to school in a class of thirty students, maybe 10 of them are hurting themselves. People self harm for all manner of reasons, but one of the most common is to turn emotional pain which they don’t know how to deal with into physical pain, which they do know how to deal with.

Another reason might be to “punish” themselves, often for crimes known only to themselves. Well, for all you know one of those 10 classmates could be your best friend. And one of the things that hurt me the most was when I finally gathered the courage to tell one of my friends and they reacted in completely the wrong way, and caused a lot of trouble and friction between us. She assumed that I was mentally unstable, that I was trying to kill myself, and that the only way to handle the situation was to never let me near anything sharp ever again.

If anyone out there is considering self harm at the moment, I understand what you’re going through, but I urge you to use CLEAN tools, and to wash and dress any wounds as soon as possible afterwards. I’m not condoning self harm in any way, but if it’s going to happen then it should be made as “safe” as possible, just like recreational drug use, if it’s going to be done, is something someone should educate themselves about the safety of.

I understand that many of you will be confused, that you’re wondering why anyone would want to to hurt themselves and then try to make it better by putting on a plaster. But self-harm often isn’t about the long term pain, but about the emotional release at that individual time. I’ve even heard of people spacing out during the act of self harming and not realizing what they’ve done until they came back round.

I want to look at this at a different approach though: Being a self-harmer in a relationship is a huge thing for me. When my boyfriend and I first started dating he found it strange that I wore long-sleeved tops in summertime, and would wear a towel right to the edge of the swimming pool. He thought it was odd that I wore long sleeved gloves to my prom, and wouldn’t take them off, even for the finger-food.

Having scars, and sometimes fresh wounds on my body can be a pain and a hassle, but can also be awkward to brush off. There’s only so many times you can say the cat scratched you, before people start to dig deeper. Until I met my boyfriend I found it very hard to accept my body for what it was. He continually told me I was beautiful, and that even if I had issues with my body, he didn’t. He meant well. When we started talking about having sex together, I started to panic about showing him my scars.

I have unsightly marks all down my ribs and thighs, along my forearms, and on my ankles. All places that are really easy to cover up normally, but in the bedroom – not so easy. It was time to come clean , to tell him I am a self-harmer. It didn’t change how he felt about me, but it did put a little strain on our relationship at first. He wasn’t sure whether it was okay to go near the scars, he was very protective of me suddenly, and God-forbid anyone make a joke about self harmers in our presence.

It was a strange and different side to him I’d never seen before. We chatted for hours about why and how and where and every other question he could think of, and I tried to answer each and everyone honestly. It hurts him when I self harm, I know that, but I know it hurts him more when I won’t tell him I’ve done it. He’d rather I tell him, than him finding out in bed. At first it felt really awkward going up to him and trying to tell him what I’d just done, and I think he too found it hard to know what to do or say, but sometimes it’s not about the words.

A hug and a murmured ‘I love you’ can do more for me than a huge long speech. So although self harm is often a horribly misinformed subject, it is possible to self harm and be in a relationship, so here’s my advice to anyone who finds that their partner injures themselves as a way of release:. Self harm is a coping method, if you don’t provide them with another way to cope with their emotions, then they cannot stop, the guilt of having broken a promise to you may incline them to do more harm.

It’s okay for you to be upset as well, but don’t try to force them to talk about anything. Just sitting with them can do a world of good. If your partner tends to want to self harm when their getting stressed, and you see them getting stressed in a certain situation, help to remove them from that situation. Skip to main content. So why self harm? Why does this affect me? It didn’t help, all it did was make me more secretive and thereby more dangerous to myself.

So although self harm is often a horribly misinformed subject, it is possible to self harm and be in a relationship, so here’s my advice to anyone who finds that their partner injures themselves as a way of release: I’m thirteen, and my friend was raped by her father. What should I do?

There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self- harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity. Unless the. So I know this girl (close friend) who has scars along her thighs and arms, they’re not that many if you look at them alone but when you see all the other scars.

Last night, I went on a date, with a man I met on an internet dating site, Plenty of Fish. In my profile, I obviously make no mention of self harm, or indeed, any form of mental illness. So, I went on this date, wearing a cutesy top with short sleeves, covered with a long sleeved cardigan, and jeans. Obviously, without wearing gloves, I cannot cover the burn marks on my left hand, by the cardigan covered the scars on my arms, and the jeans obviously cover the scars just above my left knee.

I have a few self harm scars. Most of them are hidden, but two of them are on the tpo of my hand and ym face.

I ‘m a year-old male virgin, with a history of self-harm. My concerns about being inexperienced in bed are worsened by the fact my body is covered in a large number of scars, and I have difficulties in knowing how to approach either of those issues with any of the women I’ve dated. All of them so far have lost interest and I suspect this is a result of the lack of intimacy.

Starting a new relationship with self harm scars

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. Have you ever encountered it before? Is it a turn off?

GIRLS, would you date a BOY with self harm scars? A boy that

I’ve known girls who self harmed and I believe they need love, support, acceptance and understanding without fear of judgement. I would be a bit trepidatious because of my past experiences, since mental illness is a rollercoaster both for the person who has it and for the people who love and care about them. You ask how we’d behave? The common description for people who have BPD is ‘walking on eggshells’ and that is a perfect description during the bad times. If she gets rejected, she’ll cut herself more -,- They are not ”crazy”, assholes. Yaa, I would. She may be having some troubles in life and she’s probably a little vexed with the things happening around her, but that’s no reason to not date her. I almost dated a girl like that before.

Questions about self-harm scars and dating, sex and intimacy cause many people with visible self-harm scars to worry: The right answer for you will vary depending on a whole host of factors, including your self-harm history, where you are in self-harm recovery , and your partner’s familiarity with self-harm.

We’re back with another episode! This time we’re answering your dilemmas in our minisode ‘Your Receipts’. You can send us your dilemmas by emailing:

Your Receipts: Dating with self harm scars

Need Help? United States. Page 1 of 2 1 2 Last Jump to page: Results 1 to 30 of Dating a girl that used to be a cutter. Dating a girl that used to be a cutter She has scars on her arms, legs, and other places in her body. She said she did it when she was younger. Bad sign boyos? She get shredded tho? Rather have a cutter than a whale. What did she bulk up to before she started cutting?

Your Receipts: Dating with self harm scars

A boy that just went through a really rough time, had so much to deal with. But over time he is over it, he just has scars of his past. What do you girls think about boys who self harm have depression, low self esteem etc. Do you think you could love him? Is it a major turn off?

I’m dating a girl with self harm scars?

When I was pretty young I believe 9 or 10 years old , I started a pattern of self-destructive behavior. There are things about dating a woman who has self-harmed that are a little different than most other women — things that our partners will, unfortunately, have to do differently. For the most part, dating someone with a self-harming past is just like dating anyone else. We want love, respect, and trust. We almost expect to get hurt, which can be good or bad, depending on whether you plan to hurt us or not.

Self-Injury & Relationships

Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra. It can be hard to understand. Look at the person beyond the scars. Discovering that a friend or relative self-harms can be extremely upsetting. I have self harm scars on my arms, it has never really been a problem for me in.

Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy

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How To Date A Woman With A Self-Harming Past

Click here. Would you date a woman with OLD self-harm scars, knowing that she hasn’t done it in years? I am 22, and I used to cut myself from age 11 until The scars are on my stomach and inner thighs, and a lot are barely visible, but there are still some that are very hard to miss. Obviously the scars are insanely embarrassing, but overcoming cutting has made me so much more aware about my feelings. Self-harm is a horrible idea, but at the same time it has helped me become the young adult I am. It was very detrimental to my teenage years, but overcoming it has made me a much stronger person.

“Would You Date Someone With Scars?”